So...

Despite what this blogger wants you to think, it is 4:45AM and I can't sleep. This happens a lot. There are times when my brain just won't shut off and I worry long into the night(and morning). I think about my mortality more often than I'd like to admit. I would like to say I believe in God, but it is complicated. I can say that I believe more often than not, but late at night...I just don't know. The whole God idea is not concrete enough for me to fully grasp. Sadly, I find myself unable to just blindly believe the way I once did as a child. That was so much easier. He existed simply because my grandparents told me He did. Lately...all I want is a sign, just one. It would not even have to be that obvious...just something that I could ponder, ponder, ponder until, eureka!, that was God speaking to me just now(or back then depending on how long I pondered). Umm...I don't really know what to say. I have run out of words(not literally). I will try to go to bed...but really I'll just listen to some more music.