You Know the Drill.

Recapitulations! Don't you love them?

Let's see. I restricted access to my blog for a while and promptly forgot about it because I found the whole concept of blogging stupid. And let's face it, writing personal things on the Internet for all to see is just that; stupid. But it works for me. So there's that.

I couldn't think of anything to say. So there is that, also.

Now the recap. Second semester of college. Doing well. Job hunting. Failing miserably. Places are hiring, they just aren't hiring me for one reason or another. But I'm trying to work on that. Solve the mystery. Figure out why people that I have known for years are getting hired but I am not. You know...I fill out the applications, dress nicely to deliver them, make myself smile and maintain eye contact for "appropriate" lengths of time so as to not seem like I'm going to either murder them (too much eye contact) or steal something (too little). I express interest in the job, I call every so often to check on it, go down there to "chat up" the person in charge. Doesn't really work the way I am told that it should. I actually got told off for calling up the last place that I applied to. I didn't call very often either. It's...vexing. But whatever. C'est la vie and all that smooth jazz.

I think I made some friends. They tolerate me, don't ignore my calls and/or texts, and invite me to play MtG. Kidnap me when I request kidnapping. Fun times. I'm enjoying something. Filling the void that band left behind. Woo.

More on college. Umm...I fucking hate it. I registered for the current semester on time too late. Had to go to the OTHER campus that is too far for anyone to be willing to give me a ride. Why do I need one? Well I don't drive. Why don't I drive? I can't really speak of that without bitching and/or foaming at the mouth. In any case, I have to take the bus. I don't like that at all. I wouldn't mind it so much if The Crazies would simply sit somewhere that is not near me. That probably sounds bad. Technically I'm crazy, you know? There are...different kinds of crazy. Let me make that clear. I am in the realm of the Weird Crazy. The people that sit next to me...well, I may be brutally murdered very very soon. I always hoped that I would go peacefully in my sleep. Looks unlikely. Just...to back up my claim, let me tell you about a particular incident. I'm on the bus...it's like 5 in the morning (another reason that riding the bus stinks. can't get to my 8 o'clock class on time unless I get up at 4 and catch the 5). By 0530, the seats are filled. All except one. Next to me. A guy gets on. Mid 20s early 30s. He is carrying a big blue duffel bag. He gets on the bus talking. Perhaps into a blue tooth. No. There is no blue tooth. This is wishful thinking on my part. He begins to yell. To laugh. To rant. "They" aren't going to catch him, he says. He tricked them.

This Dude: *addresses the guy beside him* They can't catch me man. I tricked them. *laughs*

That Guy: *Raises his eyebrows. Moves closer to his wife.*

This Dude: *continues* Yeah man, I tricked them good. They thought they had me, but I got on the bus. Fuck them, man. I got away. *he smiles, nods in my direction*

Me: I wave. Try to smile back.

This Dude: (he turns to me) What do you think? Think I did it.

Me: (Possible Deer-In-Headlights-Stare) Of course.

This Guy: (huge grin) Yeah, I know I did. They would never expect me to take the bus. (He resumes conversing with himself)

I edge closer to the window. Contemplate texting my mother.

This Guy: Starts to yell at himself. Most of what he is saying is unintelligible. He reaches into his duffel bag...digs around. There's a gun in there. He grabs a grimy looking face towel. Wipes his mouth and brow.

I contemplate getting off and trying to find my way home.

This Guy: He returns the grimy rag to his duffel bag. Digs around in his pickets a bit. Finds a pointed...something. With a tiny handle. Starts yelling something and stabbing the palm of one hand. Bleeds. Doesn't stop.

I text my mother. Tell her that I want to get off. Ask her if she can come get me from where ever the hell I am. She tells me to grow up and just move to another seat. There are no more seats. FML.


And that, kids, is why I hate the fucking bus. Next topic.


School. I have to go to a different campus because of registration...issues. OK. Fine. I accept that. So, I have been there three months now. It hasn't been so bad. I have a nice little routine going. Arrive late, have a panic attack, go to class, get kicked out for being late, possibly throw up, go to English, stay in class and wait for Humanities to come to me....two hour wait until next class. No car. So, I have become accustomed to going to my next class and sitting in the hall. Right next to the room. It's nice. There is an outlet there into which I plug in my laptop. People walk by, smile, wave, say a few words, and move on. Comfortable, eh? It was. Until Thursday.
Thursday, all of that happened and a bit more. Thursday I went through my usual routine...and then added "get robbed" to the list. So this guy comes running down the hall, right? Nothing odd about that. People do that all the time. Running to class. Running to the library. Running for the hell of it because a lot of us just got out of high school and are still in the whole "run through the halls" mindset. This guy, however, is not running to class. He is running to me. I don't know this until a moment later, of course. He stoops over, while running, and snatches my laptop out of my hands (while I am using it..like voices are coming out of the fucking thing because I'm in a video call. I am also typing something that I have been working on for TWO YEARS.......) and keeps going. I react pretty quickly, I think. It seems much longer than it is. So...I start screaming the only word that I can think of.:"HEY!!!". And then I give chase. Fun Fact: I actually run a LOT faster than I thought. Cool beans. So I grab on to his hoodie, still yelling my head off. I have found a few new words in my vocabulary since the shock has worn off a bit. Words like "fuck" and "shit" and "asshole". There is a car waiting for him outside the door. The engine is on, the door to the back seat is open, and there is a driver. He gets in with me still hanging on to him and trying to pull off his skin. The car begins to move and I move with it. The Asshole freaks out. Pushes me. I try to yank him out in response. He yells "Let go, bitch!!!" and the driver hits the gas. I lose my grip and invent some new swear words. I think I may have kicked the car. I'm not entirely sure.

I go back inside. Pace. Swear. Punch the walls. There's a crowd. People start talking at once. Asking questions. Touching me. "Calm down, calm down." If looks could kill...I'd be in prison for a long, long time. So, apparently the campus police were called after the first couple of "Hey!!"'s because most people know what that means. It's the universal sound of a robbery that does not involve a gun. The rent-a-pigs officers don't arrive until around 15 minutes later...which is pretty interesting giving that their office is about a 40 second walk away from the hallway I was sitting in. The woman does her job. I have no complaints regarding her. The male looked like he wanted nothing more than to go on break and eat a dozen doughnuts. Is that a rude thing to say?

So they ask the male officer to check the surveillance footage. He makes a sound, lugs himself up, and mosies over to the room where that shit is kept. The female cop gives him a time estimate THREE TIMES. This guy must be hard of hearing. Or comprehension isn't his forte. He inputs the wrong time, but it's ok. He's only off by half an hour. All he needs to do is fast forward, eh? I ask the woman if I should be in there. She nods. I walk in and stand off to the side a bit. I don't generally get in the space bubbles of others. He looks at me. Becomes angry. Tells me off for coming in there. "No! If I need you I will CALL you in here!!" I flinch. Back the hell off. He chuckles as I walk out.

So, he's looking at the footage of a half hour before what he is looking for, sees me riding my longboard in the hall. Fixates on that. Tells me off. Ok, sure. I deserve that. I did have permission to ride it inside, but only in a specific classroom. Berate away, I abused my privilege. That is all well and good. But the guy goes on and on about it. Has stopped doing what he was told to tell me off. Is wasting time. I don't say anything about this. I just say "Ok" a dozen times as he rants. Never mind that that has fuck all to do with the issue at hand. Never mind that.

He finally goes back to looking at the footage. His cellphone rings. He answers it. Laughs. Tells the person on the other end "No, I'm not busy. I can talk and do this at the same time.". The woman glances at me while I grind my teeth. The guy chuckles some more. Stops looking at the footage. Has a conversation. I foam at the mouth. Spin the wheels on my board. He finishes chatting up his pal. Announces that someone has sent him the footage. Just, saved him the trouble of weeding through it and finding it himself. He laughs and says that it will take DAYS for him to look at it. Let me reiterate. It will take this guy DAYS to look at a video that lasts maybe 60 seconds, zoom in on a face, and go "ta da! my job here is done!!!". I have never wanted to force feed someone a longboard before Thursday at around 2PM.

The school called me the next morning. Someone ELSE blew up the image. Got a good picture of The Asshole's face. They say they are checking to see if he is a student. Trying to do something with the partial license plate number that we got.

There. All caught up.