I hate holidays. Family? Not for me. People...I am not a psychic. I am not. I am just a normal, crazy human like everyone else. Like no one else. I can only guess, assume, and use past experiences to determine what i do. Give. Me. A. Break.
I'm sorry that i didn't dye the eggs. We always use Styrofoam cups. Always. What was i supposed to think? "Oh, it's OK to use glass this time. We are not allowed to heat up certain foods in the bowls (because they never look right again), but no one will mind if i put DYE in the glasses."?! Apparently so. I am sorry that I ruined another holiday. That Kid Explosion is crying because she wants to dye the eggs. Because she wants it to FEEL like Easter. I am sorry that I waited, trying to let you sleep because you NEVER get to sleep, and now it's 7:45 and no one is in the mood anymore. That half the day is gone. I was trying to be helpful. I was trying to be careful. I thought you'd be angry. Damn if I do...damn if I don't.
I can never seem to do anything right. I am such a waste of...everything. Fuck My Life.
3 comments:
Hi
Just read nearly all your blog back to the very beginning.
You do totally have AS (not a professional opinion of course, just picking up all the signs as a fellow Aspie), but you are also in fact a genius and so much more self-aware than I was at your age.
I only just really worked it all out for myself a few months ago at 27, at 18 all I had to go on was a lifelong feeling of "there is something about me that other people don't seem to like but I have no idea what it is" so you have a massive head start on coming to terms with the whole thing.
Reading your stories brought back another flood of 'wow, I did that, and that too!'
Please try to believe in yourself a bit more, you are truly an awesome person.
Hi
Maybe. Maybe not. I could merely be weird. I am flattered, but trust me I am by no means a genius. Yeah...I am fairly self aware. It kind of inhales deeply more often than not.
Well I am glad that you have worked it out.
Nice to know that I am not the only weirdo out there.
Thank you, I will try.
good morning dear. thanks so much for your comment on the blog! i am here. just not here, if you know what i mean. i am trying to find my way back to posting. getting there. i hope.
as for you and dying egg, as far as i'm concerned, you could wear bits of styrofoam in your hair and i would cheer and congratulate you on your easter ingenuity!!!
happy spring. you are wonderful.
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